Struggling with infertility has forever changed me.
Infertility is a disease, that's what many people do not understand. It has turned my world upside down and stolen my identity.
I feel like I've lost my future. Like many other girls, I grew up playing house and imagining my life as a mother. I went to college, found a great job, fell in love, got married, bought a house and all of a sudden my life came screeching to a halt.
Infertility affects 1 in 8 people. Think about it. Let's use my high school graduating class of 300 as an example. That means 37 other people from my class are also battling infertility. It also means 263 of those people have absolutely no idea what it feels like. I envy those 263 people.
Every morning I wake up and think why me? As I pass our spare bedroom, I wonder will it ever be turned into a nursery. My heart breaks every time I see a pregnant woman, children playing, or even a Huggies commercial on TV. Watching other people take what they have for granted kills me. Having a family is a blessing that most have without much effort.
I've been slowly distancing myself from friends and family. I find it easier to be alone than having to put on a brave smile and fake my way through a conversation. Three little words, are you okay, can bring my whole world crashing down.
I may look healthy on the outside, but on the inside I'm suffering from a disease called infertility. Just because it's not life threatening and you can't see it, doesn't mean it's not life changing.