TWW Shattered

I went in for blood work on Monday, 4dpo. I was in NYC the whole day and played phone tag with my Dr. Yesterday afternoon I finally got a call back. My progesterone levels were only 7.14. They look for levels of 15 or higher so they were not happy with the results. I knew something was wrong before the blood work because I chart my BBT and my chart wasn't looking "normal."

What a BBT chart is NOT supposed to look like:

Next Steps: I made an appointment with the Dr. for next Wednesday to discuss our options. We can either try a final round, round three of clomid, or go right to injectables. I never thought I would get to this point, but then again who thinks they're going to struggle with any of this?

Yesterday was a bad day. I cried a lot and then cried some more. I think the worst part is that I still have hope. Hope that somehow I'm pregnant. That even though I have no progesterone, my BBT chart looks like a roller coaster from hell, and my Dr. said this round was unsuccessful, I still hope there's a miracle growing inside of me.

I allow myself to be upset, angry, confused but in the end, the only person I'm hurting is myself. I can be mad at the world but that doesn't help anyone, especially not me. No one can be happy 100% of the time, but it's learning how to pick yourself back up and try again.

Today is a new day. 

I have to remind myself to stay positive and that I did ovulate on 100mg of clomid. That's something to be happy about. I'm looking forward to next week and laying out a plan of action. Maybe this month I'll actually get a period. Wouldn't that be an unexpected surprise.