The Smile Before The News

This morning we woke up bright and early and headed over to the RE's office. They called me back for blood work first. Tony held my hand and distracted me and it was over before I knew it. We walked back to the waiting room and I thought to myself, wow today is going to be a good day, I didn't faint or get light headed. Five minutes later they called us back to the ultrasound room. Sitting on the crinkly paper I felt excited. I had finished my first round of Clomid, was on my second week of Metformin, and changed my diet. I was feeling good. I had Tony snap a quick picture...

The Doctor came in and the ultrasound began. Immediately he saw a cyst, then another, then another and so on. He kept measuring the cysts and calling out numbers to the technician. I lost track after he measured the eighth one. It looked like a party going on down there and the only no show were my follicles. I guess my eggs just want to be fashionably late. Wish I could tell them to forget the mascara and lipstick and JUST SHOW UP.

Walking out of the ultrasound room with tears streaming down my face, I looked for the closest bathroom. I saw a room to the left towards the back of the building and walked in. I closed the door, grabbed tissues and looked around. The first thing I saw were boobs. Yes you read right, boobs. I had walked into the semen collection room. There were boxes filled with dirty magazines surrounding a red lounge chair. OMG!!! I heard myself laugh out loud. Accidentally walking into that room was the best thing I could have done for myself. 

After crying a few more times at work the Doctor called. He was surprised that my progesterone levels were high and thinks I may have already ovulated while taking the Clomid. Since I don't have an exact CD1 he wants me to wait another week to see if I get my period. If I don't get my period, he's increasing my Clomid to 100mg and "making up" a new day CD1. 

Long story short, unfortunately the first round of Clomid didn't work. However since I don't have a normal cycle we don't really know what happened. Crazy right?! So even though we've been trying for a year, I have to remind myself it's only been two weeks since we saw our amazing RE and received answers. I have to remain positive and most importantly, have hope.