A day I was both nervous and excited for. Nervous something would go
wrong, but excited to end this chapter and start again new.
Tuesday morning we drove over to the hospital at 10 am to
fill out paperwork, give blood, and talk to the anesthesiologist. We only sat
in the waiting room for 20 minutes before they called my name. That morning was
tough. I was so emotional and every time a new nurse would come into the room I
would cry. Thank goodness everyone was so nice and all they kept saying was,
it's fine, let it out, just cry.
We hung out in the back waiting for surgery time to roll
around. Doctors and nurses came in and out of the room but all I
could do was stare up at the clock. My parents came into the room around 12:15
to give me a kiss and wish me a quick and speedy surgery and recovery. Around
12:30 a nurse came to wheel me into the surgery room. I had never seen a
surgery room before, only in the movies or on TV. I looked into the bright room
filled with equipment and seven people all decked out in gloves and masks, I
could feel my pulse rising and nerves taking over. They put my bed next to the
table and asked if I could help them move me over. I remember sitting up for a
few seconds before the room started spinning and I heard a woman say, you're ok
just lay back down. Next thing I remember there was a mask over my face and
then nothing.
I opened my eyes and for an instant I forgot where I was. A
nurse was sitting next to me and asked how I was feeling and if I needed
anything. The Doctor came over and said everything went great. I can't begin to
describe the feeling I felt next. I was happy everything went well and it was
all over. I was excited to see Tony and my parents and have them take me home
to relax. I felt sadness because I knew all traces of our baby were gone from
my body, like nothing had ever happened. I felt relief it was all over and I
felt nervous to try again.
The cramps from the surgery were mild, I was really just
tired. We went home and I climbed into bed. The Doctor had prescribed
Methergine which I was to take every six hours, a total of six pills. Those
pills were awful! About an hour after taking them I began to feel major
cramping and lower back pain. The pill was causing contractions to expel
anything left in my uterus and it was PAINNNNNFUL! Six hours later I was better
prepared for the next dose. I stocked up on pain meds and prepared myself for
the worst. .
While I pray this never happens again, I know there is a
chance it may. I will never be prepared, but I know I will never have another
first time. First time being pregnant, first time experiencing these emotions,
and first time miscarrying.
